Unplanned pregnancy, Single Mom, Teen Mom, Brave Mom

I am 36 and a mother of three children. I was 15 when I had my first child, life was crazy.

At 15  I thought I had all the answers, but the moment that I found out that I was pregnant I had no idea what life was going to look like. I had dreams of things I wanted to accomplish in life, but it wasn’t about me anymore I was 15 and pregnant. I knew this pregnancy was not planned but I felt like this is my child, my blessing that would bring me to a new chapter in my life. I had my baby a week before I finished ninth grade which led me to get my GED.

Then came my second child. I was married at 19 to a man that was physically abusive.

At the age of 22, I was divorced with two kids. I had met someone new and became pregnant. At eight weeks I miscarried. I felt alone, guilty, and ashamed that it was my fault. That I had done something wrong, and something was wrong with me. The father was not supportive or understanding. Instead, he was the opposite, verbally and mentally abusive, controlling and possessive. A few months later I found out that I was pregnant again and had my third baby. After being in another very controlling and abusive relationship that lasted several years I was given the courage to finally be free.

I was now in a place where again I did not know what life looked like. The unknown was so vast. The “how’s” and “what ifs” of being a single mother were so overwhelming. I had no family close and I was legally ordered not to leave the state with my middle baby. I was alone and a single mother with mountains in front of me. I had been told that I would never amount to anything, nobody would ever want me because I had three children.

We moved into an apartment with almost no furnishings.  But I had some amazing coworkers and friends that helped me get the things for our apartment. I worked as a waitress but when times were slow, and I wasn’t making ends meet I started a second job cleaning.

In court, we decided on shared custody with no child support. So, I found myself working full time, cleaning 2-3 times a week while being a single mom. It was overwhelming, but I would not have changed a thing. I made the decision to have a career to show my kids you can do anything as long as you put your mind to it, so I applied for college. I was blessed to be able to make my own schedule at school to work around my crazy life. One year later I graduated with a  Medical Assistance Certification. My schedule went from overwhelming to manageable.

If you are a single mom or pregnant and facing being a single mom and things are looking overwhelming, STOP….. take a deep breath, sit down and clear your mind of all the things that look impossible. They are possible! Maybe it isn’t what you thought life would look like, but all you can do is one day at a time, and one moment at a time.

Sometimes it’s the “how’s “or “what if’s” that are overwhelming in the moment, looking like mountains. I get that! But if I did not take a moment to stop and sit and think, I would probably not be where I am today, I know have three amazing kids that are almost all grown and have taught and stretched me to do things I didn’t think I could do. Was every moment easy? No. But did I make it through? Yes! Was it worth it? Yes!

What are you facing? Single parenting, unplanned pregnancy? Are you going to let the “how’s” or “what if’s” take a blessing from your life? Or how about all those precious memories that only a single mom will ever know, the kisses and hugs of your son or daughter.

I am a blessed mom, even though the moments of single parenting looked impossible, And I started life as a mom at a young age. I have learned and continue learning a lot about myself through parenting. I am a stronger and wiser person because of the mountains I had to walk over. I am blessed! I hope my story will help you, and bless you in your journey of an unplanned pregnancy, single parenting or teen parenting. Whatever you are facing, know that you CAN walk through it, without knowing what’s on the other side of that mountain.

God has blessed me in my life even when I didn’t know it or want to see it. This pregnancy is not a mistake, it will NOT cause you to lose what you want in life. Actually, this is the biggest blessing from God and he will use this pregnancy for the good, to enrich your life beyond what you can even imagine.

As the Lord says For I know the plans that I have for you, “declares the Lord,” plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  -Jeremiah 29:11